A Poem About Tourettes Syndrome

I wear a mask day after day
It keeps me safe, secure
But it doesn’t always stay on.
It falls off.
The moans, groans, and squeaks escape my throat,
Before I can shove them back down again
“Don’t do that Lucy, you’ll sound weird.”
Wink, “no don’t wink”
Wink, “stop it”
Wink, “I swear I’m not flirting”
Wink, “I think…”
I put it back on.
I wear a mask day after day,
And this mask leaves me sore.
My neck aches from holding back jerks and twists.
“That would make you look so weird Lucy.”
My eyelids can not stay open for one minute longer.
Heavy with the weight of twitches and squints that I haven’t given into
They are exhausted,
I am exhausted. “Lucy, give me a break!”
My mind and body play a game of tug of war and my soul is the rope
Being pulled and pulled until it breaks
I tear off my mask and let it all out.
Yes, it is relieving, a cool breeze on a blistering day
This breeze bears a message
“You are not in control Lucy, and right now that’s ok.”

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